When I said inappropriate, I meant it.

35 weeks into it and I don't know that there's any space left

without leaving me without oxygen.

Enjoy and try not to make fun.

He's almost here!

Trying to get there happy.

These last couple of weeks have been really hard.
My body wants to be done growing,
and my back can't take the weight anymore.
My lungs can barely get any oxygen, since they are
smooshed by my sweet baby,
and if I eat more than a tablespoon of food at a time,
I feel like I have eaten an entire cow by myself.

You could say that I am for the most part d o n e being pregnant.
emotionally, anyway.

Sleep has become non existent in my life,
since the couch has recently become too uncomfortable to sleep in too.
So now I can't sleep on our bed, or our couch.
I spend the nights laying in the dark,
planning out my upcoming day and praying that
at some point throughout the night, I will get so distracted from sleeping
that my body will want to fall asleep.
But by the time I fool myself and barely dose off, mother nature slaps me in the face
and makes me get up to pee.
And so we repeat the whole process.

I have really enjoyed most of my pregnancy.
I was lucky enough to be healthy and strong the whole time
and not suffer from any morning sickness or any other
problems until about the 6th month.
At that point my body started trying to communicate to me
that it's too wussy to hold up this much weight.
And guess what? this cute little baby doesn't care what my body wants.

So here I am, trying to enjoy what is left of this experience
and trying to remind myself to get used to it: this isn't going to be our last baby.
But a wuss is always a wuss.

And wussy or not, this baby is coming, not when my body is done with it,
but when he feels like it.

So I'm just hoping he's getting claustrophobic.

Dear Baby,

I feel every single one of your moves now.
I sometimes can tell when its a little hand or foot moving
and it makes me smile for hours after.

You have stopped giving me heart burn 24 hours a day
and have reduced to only giving it to me for about 12 hours a day,
but only as long as I'm chewing minty gum.
That was nice of you, thanks.

You keep growing and I have decided there is just no more room!
My stomach hurts from stretching and I can't make it stop.
I have began waking up every hour at night again,
trying to find a more comfortable position.
So, I have a deal for you.
You just go ahead and come out as soon as possible,
and in return, I will be the best mommy I can be... plus more!

Your room is almost ready for your arrival,
and so is daddy.
He can't wait to make you play with him.
And I cant wait to witness it all.

So... think about my proposal and let me know what you think.
We're just so anxious to meet you.
and I'm really excited to breathe normal again.

Love you,
Mama

My belly has grown to an i n a p p r o p r i a t e size.

My First Baby Shower

I have been so out of it that I forgot to write about my first baby shower!

My sweet friend Dayna hosted a small shower for me at Olive Garden.

Not only did I have fun, but I got to see girls I hadnt seen in over 5 years!

And did I mention my collection of ADORABLE baby clothes grew significantly?

because it did.

...

I'm sure I'll have one of the most fashionable boys out there.

And to believe I still have two more showers to go! I can't waitttt.

Dear Baby,

I've kind of been the meanest mom around this last week.
I've been super sad and in a lot of pain
and I'm sorry if I made you feel all of that.

Sometimes I get a little scared of how life
is completely going to change once you get here.
Whether all of a sudden my life will end,
or how it will all affect my marriage,
or if you will bring such happiness
that I just wont understand how I ever made it this far without you.

I know it's more the latter,
but you can't be mad at me for wondering.
This is going to be a big change for mommy.

I'm getting really worried about your arrival
and whether I am capable of being the mom
I always pictured myself being.
I hope I can, because all I know is that
I already know you deserve it.
So I'll strive for that daily.

Your daddy is so eager for you to get here,
and we kiss and talk to you every day.
and I still smile at every movement your little body makes inside of me.
You kick me and you tickle me
and make me pee every five minutes,
but I smile through all of it.
except in the middle of the night.

I'm getting ready for you to finally join us,
even though your room may not look like it at the moment.
But my heart is there.

Baby Wise

As I've been soaking in my own dirt the last few nights,
I have started reading a couple of books to help me with this whole baby situation.
Soon enough, this little boy will be here and I need to feel a little bit more prepared
to take on that new challenge.
My sister in law, Liz, let me borrow this book and both her and my other two sisters in law swear by it. This book talks about putting your baby in a routine that is not so much concentrated on watching the clock or feeding your baby on demand, but mostly just making a system in which the clock guides you but you are able to make a pretty flexible routine with your child.
I have really enjoyed it and just hope I can remember to do all of the things that it advises you to do. I am kind of nervous of forgetting key points in keeping a baby's routine and then ruining both of our lives forever.
My biggest fear right now is giving birth to a colicy baby or a baby that will be too hard to put on a routine. I hope as we get used to having a new little member in our family, we will be able to adjust and even exceed at parenting.

Is that a little too much to ask?

the walls are painted.
the crib is put together.
and slowly we are getting closer
to meeting our little baby.

I'll put pictures up when it's ready.
I promise.

Out with the Old and in with the NEW!

Most of you may not know this,

but I concider bathing very disgusting.

Last time I took a bath was probably 8 years ago

and I only did it because I saw it in a movie

and it looked really glamorous...

it wasn't.

and I felt really weird sitting there naked,

soaking in my own dirt.

Recently, as I've been trying to find ways to sleep better at night,

I came across a lot of recommendations for baths before bedtime.

and I frowned at the thought of ever trying it again,

but knew I had to do it so it could be crossed off the list,

just like the other 100 things I've already tried and not worked.

So I lit candles,

grabbed a book,

turned off the lights,

and I uncomfortably lowered myself into the tub,

and let go of my germ nightmares.

I still found it really awkward,

and I still had to take a full shower right after

to guarantee I was actually clean,

BUT

I took a bath last night and

it worked.

And I must have slept a full 6 hours last night.

And seeing those kinds of results

when you usually only achieve that in a full week,

gives you a different perspective

and lets you welcome in the new.

So, hello baths.

Where have you been all of my pregnant life?!

Bitter Sweet

The sleep deprivation is still on.
But the break downs have subsided
and I may even be getting used to functioning on 3 hours of sleep at night.
The couch has become my new bed,
and the bathroom my first home.
I looked down at my belly today,
only to find that it has grown to the size of a basketball,
all in two weeks time.
My hips hurt.
My groin feels like someone hit me with a bat repeatedly.
my back makes me walk like a penguin,
and exercising does nothing but instigate pain.

But my baby boy moves all day long,
and I go to the doctor and he is healthy.
His heart is beating strong,
and he loves it when I sing to him.
James has taken on the calling of father,
and kisses his son on a daily basis.
He loves me and I love him.
We have a beautiful home to bring this baby into
and a happy family.


So complaining seems like a waste
when you have so many good things
to be happy about.
but just so you know, I'll probably do it again.

Melt down completed.

One scream,

one long talk,

one passionate cry,

one big hug,

one apple pie caramel apple,

and 11 hours of sleep later,

I decided I felt a lot better.

Benadryl is my new best friend.

and so is the girl at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.

Crashing...

I have not slept for 2 consecutive hours in the last three nights...
so you could say I'm a little bit out of it.
I am barely able to keep my eyes open at work,
words look fuzzy on the computer screen
and I'm ready to scream at anyone who just wants to say hi.

It's a nightmare, and I'm just getting bigger...
So I don't expect for anything to get better,
but today I feel like I am going to have a melt down;
that all of this sleep deprivation is cooking long enough
to become a big dramatic tearful moment
that will make me feel a bit inadequate to be carrying a child.

Messages from the baby at 27 weeks

I'm the boss around here.

And I will get all up in yo' face.

Dont tempt him.

He really will.

Things noticed while pregnant. period.

• I am constantly thinking of what I will eat next.
• I have panic attacks about having to take care of a human being.
• I pray every day that I don't get sick again while pregnant. It may kill me.
• I have panic attacks about deciding the name of this child.
• I have become obsessed with my weight.
• I have wanted everyone to finally be able to tell I'm pregnant, but now take offense when people ask me if I'm about to pop.
• I went to bed at 9 last night and felt like it was 3 in the morning.
• My face looks fat in pictures.
• I pee at least 3 times per hour.
• I have started reading into babies' cries to try and tell what is wrong. I'm not very good.
• No shoes are comfortable anymore, just bearable.
• I have heartburn after breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• The baby is pushing/sitting/biting on my sciatic nerve and it makes me walk with a limp.
• James said I walked like a penguin.
• Even walking lately seems like cruel and unusual punishment.
• It's nice when someone gives up their spot in the bathroom line because they see your belly.
• It's also nice when that one guy stood up from his seat in the subway when I was in NY and let me have it. If only he knew I was on the verge of tears from the pain.
• I have panic attacks about not having anything really ready for this baby yet.
• I can't wait to have this baby in my arms.

Life Lesson of the Day

Got back from New York last night.

It was so fun.

It's a city full of life.

I walked so much I pulled something on my leg.

And every night we would get back to the apartment,

I wanted to cry from the pain.

But I toughed it up.

Life Lesson: Wait until you are no longer pregnant to go to NY.

Later on, I might write a post on Things Noticed While on Vacation and Pregnant.

Maybe.

Competitions

We went to our Holiday Lunch today for work.
When we got back, we had competitions to see
if my belly was bigger than anyone elses.
Keith won.
But only by a little bit.

He's not due in March. Or ever.

Pregnancy updates

In case you were wondering,

this is what the belly is looking like as of a week and a half ago.

My normal pants still fit, but its funny to see the rubber band so expanded.

I can no longer see my feet when I look down.

I have to pull my shirt down all the time so the bottom of my belly wont poke out.

and the baby uses my bladder as its personal punching bag,

which leaves me visiting the ladies room every 5 minutes.

And those are the latest news.

Rude Awakening

While waiting for New Moon to start,

I was introduced to what my future will be like

when my best friend handed me her little girl

and she projectile vomited on three fourths of my body.

A new goal I'm working on:

Not to dry heave:

next time it happens.

when I'm trying to get it off my clothes.

when I type about the experience.

Does this mean I have a long road ahead?

Relax

We stayed inside most of the weekend.

Watching movies and being lazy never has felt so good.

We ate a lot of cake and bought an outfit for our unborn baby.

It is getting so real and magical that soon we will be holding our little baby in our arms.

And I'm going to eat every one of those little fingers.

After I eat the rest of his little body, of course.

Mother's Intuition

When a mama knows, she knows.

We love you.

And your little weiner.