I've kind of been the meanest mom around this last week.
I've been super sad and in a lot of pain
and I'm sorry if I made you feel all of that.
Sometimes I get a little scared of how life
is completely going to change once you get here.
Whether all of a sudden my life will end,
or how it will all affect my marriage,
or if you will bring such happiness
that I just wont understand how I ever made it this far without you.
I know it's more the latter,
but you can't be mad at me for wondering.
This is going to be a big change for mommy.
I'm getting really worried about your arrival
and whether I am capable of being the mom
I always pictured myself being.
I hope I can, because all I know is that
I already know you deserve it.
So I'll strive for that daily.
Your daddy is so eager for you to get here,
and we kiss and talk to you every day.
and I still smile at every movement your little body makes inside of me.
You kick me and you tickle me
and make me pee every five minutes,
but I smile through all of it.
except in the middle of the night.
I'm getting ready for you to finally join us,
even though your room may not look like it at the moment.
But my heart is there.