11.03.2010

I am a stay-at-home-mom.
And lately, I've found myself complaining a lot about what that entails.
As I've been reading some really inspirational stories on motherhood, it helps me be able to take a step back and realize how blessed I have been.
Being a mom was all I ever wanted to be. I wanted to get married and have a family.
And now that I have both, I find that it is all a little harder than it seemed.
I love being a mother. Seeing Jackson every morning makes me so thankful of everything I have, but as the day goes on and I find myself drowning in basic tasks that are never ending, I tend to complain and wonder where ME went.
I find that there is no ME anymore.
I do everything in a day, for Jackson. For his comfort, for his happiness, for his health.
And all of a sudden it is 9 o'clock at night and I am beat and all I have to show for it is dirty dishes in the sink, dirty diapers in the trash, and a messy house.
But then I get to sit down once in a while and read about women with 5 children who don't complain, but feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be mothers and it makes me want to slap myself.
I did not have to try very hard to have a baby.
All of my baby's needs are met.
We have food on the table.
I have a hard working husband.
I belong to a wonderful church.
And I have family that loves me.
Who in their right mind complains about life when everything they have is a blessing?
It would break my heart to have anyone else experience everything I experience in a day with my little boy.
I read somewhere to change "I have to" to "I get to" in everything you have to do and it instantly changes the way you see things.
And that's what I'm going to do.
I get to be a mom. I get to stay home with my son. I get to make dinner. I get to clean a dirty bum. I get to put my boy to bed.
Right now it's not about me. There will be plenty of time in the future where I will get back to painting and spending time on ME. But right now, I have a little boy growing right before my eyes to keep me busy.
And I get to experience it all.

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