Dear Behind,

I know you have a life of your own so I am here to ask you for a favor. If you happen to find some jeans that speak to you that I havent noticed, please make sure to inform me.
Though I don't mind dealing with all of your greatness most of the time, sometimes it becomes hard to dress you without looking like I own Mom Jeans, or like I am some type of hooker.

Love,
Me